Bad Hair Days...
It was a beautiful, slow Sunday morning. Baby sister was eating waffles, my husband was watching Fox News and big sister was getting dressed. While my oldest was just the tender age of seven, her attitude began to display something closer to seventeen.
As she dressed in the clothes chosen by her, she asked for help with her hair. I brushed her blonde hair and secured it with a bow admiring her beauty. She had Rapunzel's golden hair, Snow White’s lips and Cinderella’s heart shaped face. But out of nowhere my admirable thoughts were interrupted with my daughter belting out, “It looks terrible! My hair is terrible!” She frantically ran her fingers under the faucet water to smooth out some small ruts her eyes became fixated on. Astonished, I quickly reprimanded her assuring her everything looked fine and there was no need for the frantic tone. Tears forming in her eyes she declared it was a ‘bad hair day!’
Wait, what?! My seven-year-old was already proclaiming a bad hair day? I thought only teenagers acted like this.
And I just thought it was a beautiful, slow Sunday morning... geeze Louise.
As parents, we had spoken verbal affirmations to build her confidence and told her how beautiful she was, yet all she seemed to be seeing was the negative. A little backstory-this was the 4th time in a month our daughter had made a negative remark about herself while looking in the mirror.
This is where red flags began to take stake in my mind. The pattern I noticed alarmed me. What were we as parents doing wrong? Could we really change or stop her thought process? Was it normal to become agitated with her tendency to “perfect” her hair,overall appearance or was I called as a parent to calmly and wisely respond...hmmm.
I thought of my own remarks made in the earlier occurrences….
“You need to stop with that whining, your hair looks fine!”
“I’m not fooling with this, you look great, let’s go!”
“This is not worth crying over! I've got bigger fish to fry today! Time to go!”
As I reflected on my statements, I noticed my own pattern, not one time had I spoken God’s truth about her to her.
Ephesians 2:10 states, “I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ to do good works that He has prepared for me to do.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 says “Don’t be concerned with the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”
These are God’s truths; the foundations on which I needed to build her image upon, not the desirable reflection of a fairytale princess in the mirror. While I love the idea of complimenting her with sweet phrases like, “hair like Rapunzel and lips like Snow White,” I could not allow this to be the only affirmations given.
Her hair will be bad at times, her clothes will get messy, acne will develop, and doubt will follow her in life. But we as parents are called to direct her thoughts towards God’s Truth and remind her who she is in Him.
After this revelation in my own mind, I had a ‘eureka’ moment and ran to get the reddest lipstick I owned. I then wrote the perfect words of 1 Peter 3 verses 3 and 4 across the top of her mirror with the lipstick.
Words like “beauty from within,” and “precious to God,” were now staring back at her as she saw her reflection.
I would love to say my red lipstick tactic conquered all moments of doubt, but reality is the enemy lurks around looking for opportunities to disrupt our thoughts. But when that doubt arises, she can recall the bright, bold red letters speaking The Truth of God’s Word back to her.
This moment of frustration and doubt that led to Scripture on the bathroom mirror became a habit in our home. Scriptures are routinely written on mirrors to remind our children and all who enter our home(or bathroom) of God’s message to them.
God sees you. God loves you. You are beautiful and precious to Him.
The battle against self-doubt will always lurk around. The world will fight to convince us that contentment and satisfaction comes from how we look and feel. But until all our identities, both young and old, are rooted in our Creator, we will constantly be dissatisfied.
Encourage someone struggling with doubt with God’s Word this week. Write it on a mirror or write in a text but allow it to take root and believe it with all your heart they were written out of love for you!
