"“More than a ‘mom’ Moment”

“Mom, she is so annoying! Everything she does bothers me and I keep waiting for it to change, but it hasn’t changed!”

If you have more than one child, you have probably walked the long, weary road of sibling arguments. If you haven’t, please inbox me because I need to know your formula!

I have no doubt that deep inside my children love each other, but most days I am met with bickering moments, snarky remarks and the stank eye between them. As I listened to one of my daughters belly ache about her sister, I found myself digging deep to find a solution. Too often, I feel more like a referee than a mom, but even referees know what team to give the ball to…sometimes as a mom I understand both sides and am left wondering what call to make and what solution to offer.

I understood my daughter’s desire to be heard and validated, yet something told me there was a deeper message to be given and a bigger lesson to be taught. I asked my daughter if she had prayed about this frustration. To my surprise she said, “Yes, a lot, but nothing seems to change, she is still annoying, it’s pointless!” If I had a whistle, I’d call a timeout at this moment because I suddenly had a game plan!

I began with talking about God’s timeline versus our own timeline when it came to answered prayers. So often, we spend a lot of time asking God to change circumstances in a specific way that we completely miss the process of sanctification as we wait. If we aren’t mindful, we assume He just isn’t responding and overlook what He’s teaching us. Our conversation evolved into discussing how to look in the mirror for mistakes we may have made and how to consider offering grace and patience to others. As we continually include God in our daily frustrations, we can ask Him to help us see others in a new way and practice walking out the fruits of The Spirit instead of just knowing them.

As exhausting as these referee moments are, I am learning to embrace them. If we didn’t have these conversations with our children, how would we guide them to take all of their struggles to God? If they didn’t confide in us, how would we teach them to identify the emotion, learn how to consider offering grace(that we receive every day from our Father)and grow in healthy knowledge of how to navigate hard moments.

And if I didn’t stop to consider a bigger picture, then I wouldn’t be able to teach valuable lessons to them for the road ahead.

Friends, parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes some grit. It takes a little perspective, and we all know it takes a lot of Jesus. Ask Him to help you have patience when you are head butted with these moments and dig deep for a bigger message. Turn to His Word everyday for wisdom and insight as you continue on this path.

“Finding purposeful moments in Parenting”

“Mom, it’s my turn to have that seat!”

“Mom, she made a face at me!”

“Mom, she keeps making that noise with her fingers!”

“Mooooommm, but I wanted to go to the other store first, why does she get to pick first!”

All of their words crammed into my ears as I carried my children to and fro’ one day. I’m pretty sure there was a moment when nose diving my face into the steering wheel and closing my eyes to say ‘woosah’ was my only hope. As I listened to my tween daughters bicker over the dumbest stuff, I slowly slumped into a sea of doubt….”Was I a bad parent, did I not teach my children how to interact well, was I not effective in my approach, is this sibling bickering normal?!” The waves of ‘do better, try harder, get louder’ swept across me then broke as I pleaded, “Lord, help me with this!”

While my mind searched for any form of reason or solution, the word ‘purpose’ rolled in. Purpose. What purpose could be found in their bickering?

Then the word ‘prayer’ surfaced…what did I need to pray into my daughters as well as speak into them as they battled for personal gain…. And there it was…there was purpose in this parenting moment and new prayers to be found for teaching and guiding them.

As my ‘woosah’ moment kicked in (and their fear of my eerie silence kicked in) I regained my thoughts. We made a point to identify what was driving them to argue for their claim and what the opposite virtue would be. Understanding evolved when they realized their whining was rooted in personal gain, entitlement and expectations and the opposite traits to be considered were humility, patience and self-control. The conversation then turned to how quick we can cave into our flesh with “it’s what I want!” versus taking time to allow the Holy Spirit to steady our thoughts and offer opportunities to show Christlike behavior.

While we talked of different scenarios that give us opportunity to set aside personal preference and welcome the strength of the Spirit, a bigger perspective was revealed to me….this parenting path is jam packed with opportunities to redirect them back to Christ reminding them to draw from His strength, learn what to pray into them and not lose sight of the purpose, but taking time to see it is key. If I had caved into the mindset, ‘do better, get louder,’ I would have missed the opportunity to teach them.

If you are sinking in the waves of doubt with parenting or anything else life offers, stop to consider where God may be redirecting your thoughts and ask Him to help you see the bigger picture.

Need some encouragement along the way? Reach out to me, I’d be happy to offer perspective and remind you of your purpose!

“Reflections on How and Why”

Here we are-2025! It’s strange how quickly we grow accustomed to the last two numbers of the year despite how bizarre they used to sound. As a kid in the 80’s I recall saying, “Dad, wonder what it will be like in the 2000’s!” in which he would respond, “Oh, they’ll probably have flying cars by then!” We may not be like George Jetson yet, but one thing is certain the calendar years keep rolling by and each one presents us with new opportunity. As we gear up for 2025, what fresh approaches are you considering?

In a world filled with a million ‘must try’ options you may feel overwhelmed even considering a new approach. I admit, my mind grows weary just thinking of what changes I could make with things I already do! As I considered the content I write for Purpose with Perspective, I took some time to reflect on the questions I have been asked about my faith.

“How and when did you find joy in being a Christian?”

“What part of the Bible should I read if I want to understand God more?”

“How do I stay and feel close to God?”

There are a variety of answers I could offer for these questions, but one message that summarized it all was “I re-learned who God was by reading His Word and seeing purpose in life’s experiences….”

From childhood to adulthood an acknowledgment of God was front and center. Church attendance, the availability of the Bible and John 3:16 were ingrained in me, but a weight of could’ve, would’ve, should’ve lingered along my Christian walk. An image of God holding a clipboard making tally marks on how ‘well’ I had done throughout the day made Christianity feel exhausting. My view of sin was distorted as I thought sin had a scale of 1-10 and my ‘good’ behavior kept me looking acceptable to God. Yet, underneath it all my understanding of why He sent His Son to die for me was… well…kind of confusing, despite my belief in it.

It wasn’t until I made a commitment to return to God’s Word in search of understanding God more that my heart connected to my faith and love and gratitude sprouted. The seeds had always been there, but a lack of grasping God’s holiness, our sin and the need for Jesus’ final sacrifice brought abundant growth in a relationship with Him.  

If you have a similar story, I’d love to hear how Christianity shifted from a lot of ‘don’t do this’ moments to heartfelt obedience rooted in love, not obligation. If you feel challenged in really understanding why we needed Jesus’ sacrifice and why God would create such a moment, I’d love to visit with you. If you find yourself saying-this year I want to learn more about God’s character and strengthen my relationship with Him, consider this prayer as you open the Bible “teach me about You, God.” Journal your questions and desires and watch the attributes of God become the ‘why’ to your own faith in Him and the ‘how’ to abide in Him.  

Subscribe to Purpose with Perspective this year for encouragement and come alongside me as I continue to write about His love for us and why He is my source of joy!

Below is a song I came across that I felt the lyrics were so honest and transparent for those who may be hurting this season. 2024 was filled with the loss of so many loved ones, may God’s promise of reuniting in Heaven be the help for your heart as you move forward in 2025.

“A Spiritual Question to be asked”

As we touch base with friends it’s common to ask how their jobs, family or even their personal life is going, but how about their spiritual life? It may seem a bit awkward to say, “So, how’s that spiritual walk going,” but as I caught up with a friend that’s where I found the conversation…

To be honest, I wasn’t feeling very spiritual myself, and felt discouraged by it.  It wasn’t a lack of faith. It wasn’t bitterness. It wasn’t even a lack of knowledge. Frankly, I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew it felt off. I still read my Bible, but it felt more like a rhythm than a desire. I still prayed for others as requests came in, but it became another thing on the to do list. I knew God was all around and had not moved, but I seemed to lack focus and perseverance in my spiritual walk…I was missing that fire within.

I took some time after the conversation with my friend to consider where my thoughts had been lately and really considered my inner cry to The Lord to awaken this weariness. I wanted to return to my desire to read His Word and lean back into quality time with Him out of love, not obligation. At first, I was ashamed to admit I was feeling this way…kind of lukewarm. Thoughts such as, ‘it’s probably a result of not doing enough or not saying yes to more’ flickered across my mind and before I knew it, I was exhausted from wondering what more I could do to awaken my slumbering soul. The could’ve, would’ve, should’ves had crept in and the author of lies convinced me of a million more tasks to do in order to ‘feel better.’

Not long after this, I came across a song with the lyrics, “I don’t always feel it, but that’s when I need it the most, so I’m going to keep on singing till my soul catches up with my song. God, You’ve been gracious, faithful, whatever I’m feeling or facing and the struggle keeps me honest and it breaks down my walls of pride.”  

The lyrics pierced me as my focus shifted off all the feelings, the to do’s and into thoughts that reminded me to consider “who is God to me?” As I placed my focus on Him, my heart then became overwhelmed with gratitude of how patient God is with me, even when I am stubborn. He guides me along paths in life that strengthen my inner being and teaches me to trust His plan. He reminds me along the way to look back and see His faithfulness and rely on knowing He is a God of detail, always knowing what I need. He isn’t a God that makes tally marks on a clipboard as He watches from above; He is a God that remains near, listening and awaiting my words or concerns.

And just like that, I felt a fire within that was rekindled with wonder of simply how great our God is.

I hope I am not the only follower of Christ that has felt the fire dwindle, yet kept moving forward not wanting to address it. But I feel confident the enemy would love more than anything for us to remain silent, so if you are stagnant in your walk and need to hear, “How are you spiritually,” let me be that friend to encourage you. If you are reading this and have a mighty fire within, take time to consider asking this question to others as an entry way to rekindle their flame.

“A Pattern Worth Changing”

Habits, patterns, modes…we all have them. Mornings tend to gain rhythm with coffee habits, daily patterns get put on repeat and routines tend to shift us into autopilot mode. I personally thrive as a creature of habit; following a daily rhythm helps set my mind up for the day, but a particular pattern that needed to change was the content of my prayers….

Prayers, like our mornings, can become a bit routine or monotonous. I love talking with The Lord and I love including Him in all the things of the day, but sometimes my prayer can turn to autopilot mode and follow a pattern of the usual “Lord, please protect, guide, heal, bless….” you know all the familiar words. I knew the Lord still heard these words, but I felt a tug to examine this area and not wait for crisis mode prayers to involve allll the words.

Through a recent study of Revelation, a word kept reoccurring before my eyes (and heart)-repent.  For some reason, a twist on Aretha Franklin’s song ‘Respect’ unfolded in my mind, “R-E-P-E-N-T, find out what it means to me...” I sang that tune to my oldest daughter and received a quick eyebrow raise that implied ‘please don’t sing that again.’

But seriously, I had to really explore that word in my heart. Of course, I was familiar with it, but felt certain it was not part of my daily prayer.   Requesting The Lord to be with me in my actions throughout the day -absolutely. Seeking forgiveness for sinful actions-yes. Asking The Lord to guide and protect our family-of course. But, remembering to say, ‘Lord, may I take time to recognize and repent of things that break Your heart’…not a routine request.  

What I came to realize is ‘repent’ is probably the biggest word I needed to be leaning into with prayer. The habit of seeking guidance and protection was not to be dismissed, but pressing into acknowledging that my spiritual growth will require an ongoing awareness of areas to repent was a habit I wanted to form.  The Lord will transform and renew daily whatever sinful pattern may be forming, but acknowledgement is critical.

As a Christian, repentance should not be a word we cringe at, but one that represents a gift offered by our compassionate God. Turning away from that sinful habit benefits us to experience purpose, wholeness, and peace through Christ in all areas of life.

So, I leave you with this question, have the words in your prayer become a bit monotonous? If it has, know that God is still listening, and He does not get bored. But if you have simply fallen into a comfortable rhythm that slides into autopilot mode with daily requests, I encourage you to consider mixing it up with that word repent. Ask The Lord to reveal areas that you may need to repent of and then sit with Him in prayer thanking Him for the gift of His Son so we can move forward in repentance.  

It is no coincidence that my busy rhythm of life delayed my entry of Purpose with Perspective to today-Election Day. We need to pray for repentance in the hearts of so many people as we await today’s outcome; adding the words honesty and honorable behavior to the list, because we can all agree our country needs it more than ever.

“Why would we keep going?”

School activities, sports events, and a million “what’s for supper” comments crowded my weekly calendar, and among these responsibilities lie my Purpose with Perspective blog. I love to write about everyday life but, despite my desire, the busy season had me struggling to keep my fingers typing. As I watched another week come and go, I threw the towel in on a missed deadline and shifted to the next priority, my 6th grade girls Sunday School lesson. We had been studying different people in the book of Acts and I must say, the chapters had not been as easy as I expected...one week’s lesson included the story of a Eunuch. Ummmm…please don’t say, “Mrs. Adrienne, what’s a eunuch?” 

Thankfully, this week’s lesson didn’t lead me to awkward questions, but did lead me straight to a writing for this week’s blog…follow me into what we read in class….

19 Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. 20 But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city. The next day he and Barnabas left for Derbe.21 They preached the gospel in that city and won a large number of disciples. Then they returned to Lystra, Iconium and Antioch, 22 strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.” Acts 14: 19-22

At first glance the text seems filled with odd names, that may leave us asking ‘is that a person or a place’ and possibly even ‘is Barnabas the bad guy they let go at crucifixion?’(side note, no…that would be Barrabas) After clarifying the hiccups within the text, the incredible message to our hearts was revealed in verse 20, “he got up and went back into the city.” A question listed in the lesson was, “Why would Paul get up after being stoned nearly to death and go back to share more?”

Let’s understand the setting for a moment before we answer that-Paul is on fire for the Lord, he wants to share the gospel, but this crowd is full of resentment and rage. There was not a polite, ‘no, thank you, I’m not interested in your message today.’ It was a clear ‘shut up and get lost,’ which must have left Paul feeling ultimately defeated. Yet, we see those intense words, ‘he went back.’

As I asked the 6th grade girls the question listed above, here was the answer, “because Paul knew about the goodness of God.”

Sit with that a minute. Paul knew about the goodness of God.

Yall, we probably aren’t being chased by a crowd with rocks, but we feel defeated sometimes with life. You may feel like a relationship is hopeless, despite your message of Jesus’ love for them and the freedom they could experience with it. You may feel misunderstood by others about your commitment to the Lord. Maybe life is filled with uncertain circumstances that leave you doubtful. Whatever the case, consider what Paul did. He got back up and went back at it. Did he feel overwhelmed-surely. Did he want to quit-probably. But notice what he preached after getting up “encouraging them to remain true to faith….and reminding them hardships would come.” Maybe for us, Paul would say, “first, drop to your knees, talk to your GOOD Father, trust Him, then get up, go out again to share the message of hope and perseverance.”

Thanks for supporting me on this writing endeavor. It’s fun and challenging, but I believe in the sharing the goodness of God so I will keep dusting myself off and going back to it.

“Lessons learned”

This week marks our 15-year wedding anniversary for my husband, Matt and I. What a joy the gift of marriage became…notice the tense of that verb. Marriage was (and still can be) challenging. Juggling one another’s needs, tackling life’s demands and striving for strong communication left us both doubting our roles, but God. He repeatedly brushed us off, wiped our egos away, placed our hands back together and called us to go forward with purpose and today, Matt and I believe this with our entire hearts- “Marriage is a gift and brings us so much joy.”

I asked Matt to share 3 strong points he has learned along the way, and this is what he said…

1.     Open communication -Always be in communication with your spouse. For Adrienne and I, we get up early so we can beat the noise. We talk about the day, the kids and ideas. We have grown to look forward to our mornings together, but it took effort to build this open communication, honesty and commitment.

2.     Embrace the trials of life - “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance,” James 1:2-3 NIV. I know how difficult it can be to see the forest through the trees, but it's important to know God is in everything. Adrienne and I have endured difficult times in our marriage, yet as we've always looked back, we have seen God’s faithfulness in each trial. Every trial in life reminded us of God’s faithfulness.

3.     Parent together -This phrase has become taboo in today’s world and is easier said than done. One thing I've consistently enjoyed about our marriage is our ability to respect each other’s parenting styles. Adrienne’s strength is my weakness and vice versa. Our kids face a difficult world, and God gave us a large responsibility to teach our kids to be Christ followers not crowd followers. The most important word in our home is legacy and we want our kids to carry our legacy to their kids.

The lessons I(Adrienne) would want to share are…

1.       Your spouse is not your enemy. Even if you feel that your spouse is not living out his or her God given purpose within your home, they are not the opponent. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 tells us who we are really fighting against and without God’s Word disrupting our worldly thought process we will miss this bigger picture.

2.       Your husband’s deepest desire is to be respected. Whether it’s in the form of encouragement or being selective with your responses as they show vulnerability, it’s a must to strengthen communication. It may simply be reminding him that you are on his team or stopping to say, ‘thank you,’ but make sure to take time to offer it in ways that speak to him.

3.       Never make your husband feel as if you don’t need him to do this life. I come from a long line of focus, determined women. We can juggle kids, wild animals and pull a trailer in the middle of it, but we also can imply too much independence if we aren’t careful. So, stop and consider the message we may be sending our husband from time to time. Tell him how much you value him in your marriage.  

And lastly, you are not your spouses’ Holy Spirit. Read it again. I recently saw this message at a retreat and found it very informative. If we aren’t careful, we can slip into a judgement seat and take on a ‘holier than you’ mentality towards those closest to us. If you desire growth in your spouse spiritually, open your eyes to areas he or she needs prayer in and go to The Lord with your requests. Psalms 37:7 tells us to wait patiently for the Lord and He will act, so wait expectantly for Him.

I find it ironic that just last week a friend, who struggles in her marriage asked me this question, “are you really still in love after this many years or has your love faded?” It brought me so much joy to honestly answer with this, “I am more in love with my husband now than I was when I met him and that is due to the goodness of God because He led us well.”

“Who is the Aaron or Hur in your life?”

School is back in session, the summer heat is still lingering and your calendar may already be full with all the things! Feeling overwhelmed or know someone that needs encouragement? Check out today’s writing from the past, that still resonates with so many of us as we learn to become Aaron’s and Hur’s for each other! Enjoy!

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“So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up- one on one side, one on the other-so that his hands remained steady till sunset.” Exodus 17:10-12

I admit, I had never heard this story until recently, but it quickly became one of my favorites with its imagery and significance!

The Israelites have witnessed and endured a lot of monumental moments as they continue to be lead through the wilderness by Moses. If anxiousness was a word back then, I feel confident this group of people experienced it to the max.

Moses and the Israelites have set up camp in the desert at Rephidim when a wild, blood thirsty tribe called the Amalekites attack them. Surprised and fearful, the Israelites are forced to dive into this battle. As the scripture shows, God uses certain people to carry out His plan during the battle. I love how God reveals that Moses, Joshua, Aaron, and Hur each play a part as they work together as a whole. Joshua uses his courage and skills to take action in the battle. Moses continues to seek God’s Will as he moves forward with faith, while Aaron and Hur are an amazing image of friendship as they come alongside him.

We may not be on a hill overlooking men with swords, but we all know life is a battlefield. Aging parents become ill, children can be exhausting, schedules overwhelm us, and uncertainty unravels us. Yet, when the enemy shoots fiery darts at us, nothing shields us more than prayer and those that become the hands and feet of Jesus. The friend that shows up with dinner unexpectedly, the text that comes at just the right time, the encouraging remark spoken, all of these represent the Hur’s and Aaron’s in today’s world.

Moses knew deep within his heart that God’s Will would be done, but weariness set in while he waited. That’s how we feel at times… growing weary as we wait. I love how God incorporated Aaron and Hur to stand alongside Moses reminding him he was not alone. They offered physical, emotional, and spiritual encouragement as they ‘held’ Moses when he couldn’t press on. His friends helped carry out God’s plan.  

Just in case you are wondering what the outcome of the Amalekite battle was…Joshua overcame them. Exodus 17:13, “So Joshua defeated defeated Amalek and his army with the sword.”  Moses’ hands raised high with his staff represented God’s overarching power. The outcome of the battle was ultimately within God’s hands, but Moses’ trust and his friend’s support assisted in carrying it out.

Who are the Aaron and Hur’s in your life? Better yet, are you being an Aaron or Hur for someone? Ask God to help to make you aware of those that may need encouragement. Being intentional by coming alongside others in life is a wonderful depiction of the gift of Christian friendship.

“Redirecting Our Thoughts”

It was my typical weekday commute to work; a straight shot on a two-lane highway that I often enjoyed as I listen to music, but today was different. My mind was heavy and running hard; silence filled the car as my thoughts echoed in my head.

Have you experienced days like this? Days that all you can think about is the problem at hand or a big decision. Maybe someone has deeply disappointed you and their actions are on replay, or perhaps you are fearful of making the wrong decision with a heavy-laden circumstance.  We weigh the pros and cons, dissect the angles and attempt to set our thoughts to the side, yet an eerie feeling of the unknown or ‘what if’ can linger.

As the wheels turned on my car (and within my head) I glanced beyond my speedometer to the index card with Scripture I had written and placed there a few weeks ago. The Bible Study I attend had challenged us to memorize verses from Revelation 21 for an upcoming study this fall. Sometimes I would read the words aloud on the index card as I drove, sometimes I made up dance moves with them (that always seem to turn into a rap song), and sometimes the index card blended in with my dashboard.

But, on this particular day the Scripture seemed larger than usual. These are the words that slowly began to fill my head as I shifted gears and began to read His words…..

“Then I heard a loud voice from the throne. Look, God’s dwelling place is among the people, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eye. There will be no more death, or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new.” Then he said, “Write this down for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:3-5.

Talk about a shift in focus. My thoughts began to imagine the amazing promise God gives us that one day all things will be made new. The hardships will disappear, pain will cease, and disappointment won’t exist. Then I was reminded of the gift of the Holy Spirit that already dwells among believers today as Ephesians 1:13 tells us, “In Him you also were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed.”

As my mind followed my Father’s trustworthy Words, I realized this was a real-life example of Ephesians 4:23 unfolding before me, “to be renewed in the spirit of your minds.” By shifting my focus to God’s Word and believing in it, the heaviness of my thoughts ceased and were replaced with peace, truth and light. Did my problem go away? No, not necessarily, but being reminded of a day when there will be no more problems was a breath of air and being reminded that God’s gift of the Holy Spirit was ever present brought perspective and perseverance.

The next time your wheels are turning in the wrong direction, remember who’s words you can trust and redirect them to His words.

“Is our time well spent?”

“Time is what we want most, but we use worst,” is a quote I recently read that seems to capture the seesaw effect of being busy and being present. Juggling the ups and downs of day-to-day life can leave us zapped and tempted to disconnect, but being intentional with moments can keep our purpose in focus. Keeping perspective helps keep habits like mindless scrolling on social media in check when precious time has been given. I often say to my husband, “I never want our children to say we remember mom and dad staring at a phone a lot while growing up.” My husband and I have considered what messages we are impressing on our children’s hearts between the busyness of life and the cornerstones we are committed to building day to day.

-Integrity. Webster references ‘character’ as a synonym with integrity. I love both of those words. It’s more than being honest or showing good morals; it’s a commitment to the truth and for us, a commitment to The Lord’s way. There are so many opportunities throughout our day to exemplify integrity and reveal choices we can make. One day at the grocery store, amid a whirl of chaos with the gremlins, I forgot to scan the cases of water on the bottom of the buggy. We were halfway through the parking lot when I realized it and made the remark, “I forgot to scan the waters!” In that moment, I had a choice; keep rolling-no one even noticed or teach my children to do what’s right even when there are no consequences. My mind knew the grocery store worker didn’t know, but my heart knew God did. My heart desires to act in a manner that is true out of love for my Father. Revealing to my children why I turned around and went back in offered an opportunity for my children to see obedient honesty rooted in love and opened a deeper conversation for why we do what we do.

-Legacy. What legacy is your family building within your home? Will it be rooted in God’s Word? Psalms 86:11 provides a prayer for our family, “Teach us Your way, Lord, that we may rely on your faithfulness; give us an undivided heart, that we may fear your name.” We want to be led by The Lord’s hand and we choose to commit our decision making according to His Word. The fear we pray to keep is not rooted in anxiety or dread; it is grounded in knowing He is the author, and we honor His position. Our household has been walking a long road of uncertainty that brings a lot of ‘what ifs,’ but when we step back and remember our request to be taught, led and reliant on His faithfulness, we are confident in our Father’s plans. We have watched our children take note of our concerns, heard our questions and watched us turn to prayer for direction. In turn, our choice to follow our Father’s lead offers moments of building faith for them. How we, as believers handle life’s trials offers a front row seat to our faith to those around us.

Each day offers an opportunity to reveal what’s truly within our hearts with the moments given. Living a life with integrity and honoring our Father’s Word are just a few ways we can reveal our devotion to The Lord. It may be in the form of how you speak among your peers. Are you tempted to chime into their gossip or refrain and speak truth? Maybe The Lord is leading you to pray over a friend instead of saying you will. Perhaps you feel tempted to bring your actual Bible into a waiting area versus reading it on your phone; imagine the light it would shine on its own!

 Let’s commit to spending our time wisely, making the most of our day-to-day moments. Take some time asking The Lord to strengthen your perspective. As God’s children we can rewrite that famous quote with, “Time is a gift from God and we will live with purpose for Him.”

“Purpose in the Trials”

I am sharing a writing from the past this week! Enjoy this perspective on our friend, Joseph that still applies today!

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Remember Joseph from the Bible? Not Jesus’ earthly dad...the Old Testament Joseph. He was Jacob’s favorite son and pranced around like a gazelle in the fancy coat. God revealed to Joseph early in his life that he was given the ability to interpret dreams. Not just any dreams, but visions of the future to fulfill God’s plans. Joseph didn’t exactly handle this revelation with humility....he ‘word vomited’ the plans of his future leadership on anyone listening, but his heart was simply excited and willing to live out the plan.

But what happened when that exciting ‘plan’ or ‘dream’ went south? When Joseph realized God wanted to use him I’m sure he didn’t picture the tough road ahead.

Joseph’s zeal for life was misunderstood and he became the target of his brothers’ jealousy as they sold him to a traveling caravan passing by. Man! Can you imagine selling your sibling to the trafficking system in today’s world and then lying to your parents about it?! These hearts were cold and full of envy.

When Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery they had no idea what would become of him, nor did they care. Poor Joseph’s excitement to live out God’s calling had been crushed as his circumstances surfaced tragedy.

Joseph became alone, scared and confused as he was led by the caravan into Egypt and awaited more trying times. As the hardships unravel Joseph finds himself living out God’s vision that was given earlier in life. He rules over Egypt, becomes the source of food during a famine and holds respect from many. His shocking new identity is revealed to his starving brothers and his emotions are in turmoil as he recalls their cruel actions. Joseph has the power and ability to dismiss them for life….just as they did to him.

This story carries a lot of human disappointment. When looked at as a whole, the valleys outnumber the peaks in life, but the most unique part of Joseph’s story is how he handles the trials. Joseph refrains from being the victim and turns away from things like revenge and self pity. He chooses a different perspective and God.

Joseph’s choice of response to his cold hearted brothers’ actions was simply this, “ As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good,” Genesis 50:20. Wowza. Talk about having the right perspective!

Hear me on this…the point of Joseph’s story is not to glorify how forgiving he was to those who mistreated him, but to see his focus during hardships. Joseph learned important lessons in humiliating circumstances. Those challenges in life led him to gain discernment through prayer as he waded through uncertain times, and most importantly, he drew into a closer relationship with God as he leaned on Him more than ever. Think back on trying times in your life. Can you trace the growth in your faith?

Joseph’s painful blows in life molded him into a strong, Godly leader. The Bible says that even the powerful Pharaoh was in awe of Joseph’s God honoring humility and granted him a position right out of prison. When this blessing occurred Joseph kept his focus on God and gave glory to Him.

Think about this..Joseph’s unpredictable path in life offered many opportunities for self pity. He was thrown in jail for something he didn’t do, forgotten by people he helped and mistreated by family for his youthful pride. Yet, notice how the Bible records his choice to take on a perspective centered around God. Joseph gained an intimate knowledge of who God was to him-faithful, trustworthy. 

The attributes of God were not simply concepts Joseph had heard; they were beliefs in his heart. When life was unpredictable Joseph held tight to God through prayer and faith. The hardships in his life are what molded this trust!

“What the enemy meant for evil, God turned it for good,” is a powerful perspective to have in a world filled with heartache. I’m persuaded to imagine Joseph making the future words in Romans his life’s motto, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

Suffering tenderizes our hearts and draws us closer through prayer and community. Hard times can reap a beautiful image of love as community comes together. But to focus only on the suffering causes you to miss a much bigger picture.

To spend your life asking “why is this happening,” will exhaust your mind and heart. But to shift your focus to who you truly believe God is will reset your perspective.

I would venture to say Joseph didn't welcome the trials. We don’t want to suffer. But, I can say he confidently put his life in God’s hands and trusted whatever came his way would be protected by God.

Listen, sometimes we just forget who God is. He is the creator of this world and every human in it. He hung the moon, placed the stars and controls every breath we take. Bring your fears and heartaches back to Him and trust He will see you through it according to His will. Rest in knowing nothing goes unnoticed by Him and what the enemy schemes for destruction is always overcome by God’s power and goodness according to His purpose.

“A Christian Critic”

As I watched the new movie, “Inside Out 2,” I was surprised by how well written the story of emotions became. If you are unfamiliar with the film, the movie revolves around a girl named Riley navigating life with each emotion portrayed as an actual character. Joy, Anger, Sadness and Fear are a few from the first movie, and Anxiety, Envy and Ennui(bored/discontent) are added in the sequel. As Riley deals with the pressures of teenage life, each emotion fights for her attention and leaves Riley overwhelmed with a lack of direction.

I loved how the producers created a visual for how we all, both kids and adults, move through life with a wide range of emotions. Yet, I couldn’t help but think how great it would be if Hollywood shocked us and added the ultimate answer and fulfillment of our longings within us-Jesus Christ.

If we, as God’s children, wrote the script it might go something like this….

As Riley walks into peer pressure, she becomes consumed with anxiety as people pleasing steps to the forefront of her mind and replaces God’s truth from Ephesians 1:4-5, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”

Exhaustion shifts into gear as her thoughts run wild with envy and discontent as she battles her flesh with comparison. Proverbs 14:30 echoes in her mind shouting, “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones,” yet she doubts her ability to surrender the overwhelming desire to be accepted by others. Eventually the natural emotions her Heavenly Father created within her, such as joy, becomes entangled with expectations that lead to discontentment and anger. The words, “You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with the joy of your presence,” from Psalms 16:11 whispers through the turmoil.

As she becomes overwhelmed with the pressures of life, she finds herself on her knees asking, “where do I go from here,” and God’s Word reminds her, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.   Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you,” as The Creator of the world meets her right where she is in life.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Inside Out 2 from a secular perspective, but I found joy as a believer in knowing my joy is not circumstantial, but anchored in God’s redemptive plan through Jesus Christ in my life. Shedding Jesus’ light from the movie’s message to our kids offered opportunity for perspective and growth as they navigate this world, just like Riley.

We all have a little Riley in us, battling the desire for acceptance, feeling overwhelmed with the ‘what ifs’ of life, pushing towards a goal. Whichever situation you find yourself in and whatever emotion is knocking at your door, stop and consider who’s writing your story….God’s right there with you, ready to guide you to a healthy response.

Daily consumption of scripture, a desire to grow in the knowledge of God, and time spent meditating on His attributes are all great avenues to help be on guard for the overwhelming moments.

“Learning to Be Still”

The backpacks were tossed in the corner, flip flops were everywhere, and endless ideas fell out of our kids’ mouths. Bedtimes got kicked to the curb and freedom rounded the corner as summer slid in. But, shortly into the new season it seemed freedom turned into fussing and my idea of relaxing turned into refereeing.

As I stood before our children griping about how they were griping, I caught a glimpse of our stack of Bibles and devotionals nearby. I had every intention of incorporating quiet time for the kids into the summer days, but realized the intention had fallen short of action. I often awake early to be still in God’s Word before the precious gremlins test my patience, but seem to allow the children to land on quiet time when time allowed... I was reminded that my habit of choosing to be still had been formed over time and was an active part of strengthening my relationship with Jesus, as well as improving my attitude. I returned to the game plan for summer and added “quiet time” to the bucket list of summer. Pressing pause to read God’s Word, jot down prayers and form a habit of being still definitely took some enticing for them….fun pens, bright markers, cozy blankets, a good ole’ Coca Cola…you get the picture. As we settled into our Bible time, the questions began.

“Mom, what do we read?”

“Mom, how long do we read?”

“Mom, can I skip this section, it’s not interesting!”

One question after another, I resonated with their perception as I remember approaching the Bible early on with similar thoughts, “where should I start, what did that verse mean, how often should I do this?” Some days reading my Bible felt like a chore; other days I felt empowered by knowing I had God’s Word fresh within my mind. Some passages I read spoke right to me, where other areas left me confused. But, with every ‘yes’ to being still in His Word and every obedient ‘no’ to continuous movement came a renewed sense of strength and purpose. Reading through challenging passages left me seeing God in a new light. Coming across familiar stories revealed new insight that offered a relatable perspective, and the continued intake of His Word reprogrammed my way of thinking. His Word became louder than my opinion.

If you are new to reading your Bible and carving out time with God or have made a commitment to return to it and fight the temptation to put it last on your to do list, hear me out……

Making a commitment to press pause and read His Word is the Most. Strengthening. Habit. You. Will. Ever. Form.

I’m writing to encourage you from my own experience. The enemy will taunt you to avoid forming the habit. He will convince you there is no time and entice you with appealing, alternative options, but see them for what they are, options.

One day after the kid’s quiet time, one daughter commented, “hey mom, now that we’re doing this quiet time, I noticed reading my Bible makes me feel better, I’m glad I stop to do this.” Amen, honey, Amen.

If you are looking for a way to start, need direction or want to be encouraged in forming a quiet time habit, reach out to me! I’d be happy to offer insight!

“More than a bedtime story”

Do you remember the children’s fable, “The Three Little Pigs?”  You know, “Little pig, little pig, let me in!” Go ahead, you’ve already thought of the rest….”not by the hair on my chinny chin, chin!”

Whether you are in a season of life with small children or simply remember the fable from childhood, you can probably recall how three pigs built three homes, but only one overcame the big bad wolf.

The youngest child in our home loves this story and routinely picks it for bedtime reading. As my husband and I have taken turns reading it nightly, both of us couldn’t help but notice the significance of the lesson within the story.

If you recall the fable; two pigs quickly build their homes with straw and sticks, then move on to more pleasurable activities for the day. But, the third pig wisely and patiently builds his home with bricks. Of course, we can see patience and effort pays off, but what if we considered a deeper message that involves instant gratification, putting away selfish desires, and preparation?

Sounds deep when you consider it being only story time and pigs building huts, but with spiritual eyes you can see how all of us are ‘pigs’ making choices in everyday life that build a strong or weak foundation…

Instant gratification refers to feeding a desire within yourself and normally, in an impulsive manner. Hear me on this-it is something we should be praying against for ourselves and our children. Our world is overflowing with a message to act on impulse, take part in more pleasurable activities, choose the easier path and a constant building of our egos, but wisdom teaches us to builds a strong stance God’s way.

Preparation for the enemy prowling around our home involves strategy. Remember, not only did the third pig build a strong home, but he also lit a fire under his boiling pot of water for the wolf to fall into as he came through the chimney. He wasn’t naïve to think his enemy would only come through the front door…

This bedtime story offered more than a nightly routine for our family. It opened conversations that involved a message of choices based off healthy perspective, discerning situations with the enemy at play, and choosing to fight the temptations to give in to our flesh.

Most importantly, it circled us to Scriptures to pray around our home that we actively choose to keep building on a firm foundation.

Below, you fill find a prayer based off Psalms 37 that you can encircle around yourself and loved ones.

-Lord, remind us not to fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong, may we always trust in only you. May our desire to do good be rooted in you; as we dwell in your land and enjoy safe pastures that you provide.  May our children, as well as ourselves, take delight in you Lord and know that you and only you, will fulfill the desires of our hearts. We pray that our family will always commit our ways to you and trust in you. May we learn to be still before you, Lord and wait patiently for you. May we go to Your Word for patience and understanding as we wait patiently for you. Amen.

I encourage you to personalize Scripture for your prayers. Psalms and Proverbs are great places to start! And, I leave you with this simple question, “Which little pig will you be?”

“More than Broken Teeth”

The mission trip overseas was going as planned; children were pasting together papers shaped as fish and bread to learn about Jesus’ miracles. We were eating rice and beans, beans and rice and our skin wreaked of sweat and Germ-x. Every day we told stories of Jesus’ miracles through crafts and organized what felt like a herd of cats during game time. 

I vividly recall a girl standing nearby watching our activities. Her complexion was dark, her eyes were fiercely green and her lips pressed tightly together as she attempted a smile. A friend of mine also noticed this lonely girl nearby. 

My friend and I approached her to say hello and ask for her name. A strong Dominican accent rolled off her tongue as she pronounced it “Powla”. Back home we would lose the flare with our country accents and say “Paula”. 

The conversation with Paula revealed her age, her family life, our names and somehow….my profession-a dental hygienist. Paula’s eyes no longer beamed radiance, but brimmed sadness. She revealed her mouth ached daily, almost every moment. Shifting my eyes to her mouth, I motioned for her to smile. The movement of her plump lips away from each other revealed broken teeth, everywhere. 

The depth of destruction in this fourteen-year-old’s mouth would deem her an upper and lower denture in America. I was lost on where to begin in a third world country. 

But as we stood before her my heart seemed to push my eyes beyond the matter at hand. I sensed there was more to this moment than just broken teeth. I meekly proceeded with, “We pray to Jesus for all types of miracles such as cancer and illness. Let us pray for your mouth and His healing power.” With no medicine available at the moment, and no dental tools in sight, we called upon Jesus to consume Paula’s mouth with the sweet healing ointment of simply Himself. 

After the prayer a question kept lingering in my mind, as well as my friend’s, did she know Jesus? We decided to follow up…”Hey Paula, do you know Jesus?” 

Her response, “Sometimes at night when I cry I sense Jesus is holding me.” 

Oh how surprised we were to realize this was not just about broken teeth, but a broken heart as well. 

Paula decided to accept Jesus into her heart that day. She learned that Jesus could be an active part of every step she took, not just when she cried. He would bring joy and fulfillment to her heart that nothing of this world ever could. It is a joyful memory that is dear to our hearts. 

I still think of “Powla”. It has been seven years since that moment. I returned two years later to the area in hopes of finding her but was unsuccessful and experienced my own heart breaking. But God reminds me of the seed planted that day as He prompts me to speak her name in my prayers. He also reminds me of His purpose that day beyond the initial concern of teeth. It was so much more than just broken teeth; Paula needed prayer for her broken heart and to learn more about Jesus. 

I do not tell this story to draw your attention to the location of the event; mission trips are adventurous opportunities, but Godly encounters can occur anywhere. The Paula story mainly reminds us to look past the concern at hand. Think of a time you talked with someone that had a need. Have you ever sensed God pressing you to go beyond the ‘surface talk’? We may become hesitant to become bold in fear of awkwardness, but it’s safe to say the prompting within is from The Lord. 

My point is this, look beyond the random encounter. Wake up each day asking God how you can encourage those around you. Fix your attitude on the bigger picture in this life; the souls that need the fulfillment of Jesus. Consider their hearts and ask God to reveal what He wants you to do as life’s moments surface. It may be an encouraging prayer or a life changing moment for you and them both. Plant the seed in the God-given moment or be a part of watering one someone else planted. 🌱

“Sod grass and Marriage”

My husband and I had decided to purchase some sod for our yard to fill in an area near the back porch. The small area kept a gummy, muddy bottom that the kids loved to pass through as they headed back inside, and I had the green light to go pick up the solution. As I contacted a local Sod company, I mentioned I didn’t need much, just a strip of “those squares of grass” to line the back side of the house. Thank goodness the man on the other end of the phone sensed the blonde streaks in my hair and commented, “Maam, you will need a trailer to pick this pallet of sod up….” I had every intention of showing up for pick up in my suburban completely unaware of the weight, spiders and dirt involved with a pallet of sod and was shocked when a forklift approached me.

Marriage reminds me a lot of this story. We can be blissfully unaware of weight accumulating with poor communication. We can find ourselves caught off guard by irritating disturbances and end up covered in resentment. Life will always be filled with unforeseen mishaps, but how we communicate and navigate with our partner determines the outcome. Communicating our needs, offering suggestions, and openly providing information helps to build a stronger outcome, despite any mishaps that could occur.

Have you ever assumed your spouse’s emotional state was good? It might seem like an odd question to ask, but without healthy communication they might be carrying a surprisingly heavy weight internally.

Ever considered asking your spouse if there is anything you could do or say differently to help them feel supported? Often, we assume our natural approach works, but sometimes we find out our habits are more irritating than helpful.

Lastly, have you and your spouse ever asked each other this…. “What do we need to be specifically praying for together within our marriage?” Asking one another this question offers an opportunity to pray as a team and combat the lies of the enemy. The devil stirs up confusion, misconstrues messages, and muddies up situations, but God guides us to order, clarity and success.

Don’t be caught off guard within your marriage with unexpected weight, irritating disturbances and loads of dirt in your face. Take time to communicate and build a clear picture of your spouse’s needs so you can face life’s unexpected moments stronger together.  

“Let Your Light Shine”

“No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light. Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body is also full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body is also full of darkness.” Luke 11:33,34

The first portion of this verse surfaced in my mind after I encountered a friend that was hurting. I could not recall where it was in the Bible, nor the details surrounding it, but the idea of sharing the light I knew versus refraining from it pierced my thoughts. Life’s circumstances were disappointing for my friend, and defeat was tattooed across her forehead. As I struggled to find the right approach, these words played out in my head, “no one lights the lamp and hides it, share The light you have, tell how you face life with The light?” The light was the assurance of Jesus’ guidance and closeness in every moment of life, the hard decisions, the small decisions, the junk, the joy, the doubt, and the celebrations. He was present in all things and that was what brought a steadfast clarity within me. Attempting to find solutions to each problem made me stumble; I didn’t have all the answers. But recalling a portion of this verse reminded me that I had a message of bright hope to pierce the uncertain darkness.

I wondered where that verse came from because it was not something I had read recently. I knew in my heart it was The Holy Spirit prompting me with the message, but I wanted to seek the verse out for more insight. As I gathered my gremlins, aka my children, around the kitchen table I opened our family devotional. Right before my eyes, on the one day we actually succeeded to do our daily Bible reading, was THE passage with that verse from Luke 11.

I belted out, “I’m picking up what you’re putting down Jesus!” at my children and watched them exchange strange faces with one another.  

As my eyes continued reading His message, I was reminded of how we are simply called to be a beacon of light to others by sharing how He works within us.  The perspective became clear, and my mind was filled with examples of how The Lord listens, notices, and assures us. It wasn’t that my life was free from disappointment or heartbreak, but sharing life with Jesus, produces a certainty within me that propels me forward as He leads the way.  

Ya’ll, we are living in a world desperate to see light among darkness. They want perspective. They want the message of hope, but sometimes their eyes have been fixated on darkness too long. Their eyes have become unhealthy as they stumble through life, grasping for anything to guide them, yet Jesus Christ is The light waiting to take their hand and guide them. If we are followers of Him, then we are called to share this message of light and avoid keeping it within us. As Luke 11 tells us, display that light so others may come towards it to see.

“Meaningful Mishaps”

Have you ever wished for something only to have it play out in a way you never pictured? You’ve probably heard the phrase, “be careful what you wish for….” That’s the scenario my family found ourselves in while traveling.

Our trip was filled with mountains that seem to reach Heaven, snowflakes the size of your hand and adventurous snow skiing downhill. We laughed hard and slept harder. As the last day of the trip arrived our family wished our stay did not have to end. 24 hours later, a massive blizzard occurred that delayed every flight from California to Texas. We found ourselves stranded with no available flights, a lack of clean clothes and pure chaos in the airport. Our youngest daughter keenly blurted out, “Well we wanted another day, it just didn’t come the way we thought!”

Her words reminded me of our prayers at times. So often we pray for specific circumstances or detailed scenarios only to realize God answers in a completely different way. If we aren’t careful our prayer can be answered without even realizing it because we are so fixated on how we expect it to play out.

-Sometimes difficult circumstances draw perspective and gratitude from within us.

-Sometimes illness reminds us of the beautiful gift of love within a community.

-Sometimes challenging relationships open our eyes to unhealthy patterns and form specific prayers.

A perspective, guided by God, is always key and choosing to focus on who God is helps this outlook.

Often, our family will choose an attribute of God to focus on and back it up with a story to show why. Lately, an attribute of God that has been near my heart is ‘creative.’ We serve a creative God that reminds me to trust in Ephesians 3:20, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” Reflecting on prayers and opening my eyes to how He is working brings assurance that all things are being orchestrated by Him.

As we waited 48 hours for the next available flight, missed work a few more days and kept reapplying deodorant my husband began to comment about things he was grateful for. Our children followed his lead and found much joy, humor and perspective in the mishap given. Thank you, Lord, for even the small, but meaningful moments You offer.

What mishap is occurring in your life? What attribute of God can you choose to focus on to gain better perspective? Ask God to help you see what He is doing and trust in how creative He can be.

“Let’s talk about money!”

Today’s writing is from my husband, Matt. Not long ago, I asked him to write about the challenging and often ignored, topic of finances within marriage. He did a great job! Check out his perspective below!

One of the most important, yet more difficult topics in marriage is finances.  For some reason, couples tend to bring either debt or financial selfishness into marriage from day one.  Money is a very stressful area to navigate when you’re single, and becomes even more stressful when we add a spouse and their financial “baggage” to the scenario.  Statistics show 86% of marriages start out with a considerable amount of debt.  It's estimated that financial problems contribute to up to 40% of all divorces. That means for every 10 marriages that end in divorce, four of them are because of money.  Another survey shows 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partners.  With these astounding percentages, we could assume that finances aren’t typically discussed before individuals tie the knot or perhaps, they deny the magnitude of the topic. Which is probably why separate bank accounts on the rise in marriages.  So, let’s dive off into a few principles that if applied, could create good conversation and hopefully, insight between you and your spouse.

Let’s start with the obvious, keep God at the center of your marriage. Seems easy, but climbing a social status ladder and focusing on your bank account can easily derail you.  With all the flashy marketing, finance options, and keeping up with the Jones’ mentality, people are spending more and more on non-essential items.  We can unintentionally put God in the backseat when it comes to desires, dreams, and financial gain.  By keeping money in its rightful place and not allowing it to become an idol, you can focus on the bigger picture- your relationship with God and your spouse.  This concept also helps develop a keen sense of stewardship and honesty for both you and your spouse.  Stewardship should provide an understanding that everything we own is God’s first, and it will always be His, not yours. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world and all who live in it” Psalms 24:1 

Second is gratefulness.  Every person reading this is blessed beyond measure, but unfortunately, everyone here has a different measuring stick for gratefulness.  Sometimes the measuring stick can become this-they live there, they drive that, etc.  You know, the comparison drill. It’s an easy ploy from the enemy to rob you of your gratitude. Keeping perspective also helps you and your spouse measure your needs versus wants in your marriage.  By staying rooted in gratefulness, including God in all aspects of your marriage, and being aware of the enemy’s schemes you can keep God at the center and kick the enemy to the curb. "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Third, I sincerely encourage each of you to not borrow to gain a sense of happiness or fulfill a short term want.  Credit is just another fancy word for “I can’t afford this shiny thing at the moment,” when the choice boils down to a ‘want.’  Today, our society is so addicted to borrowing and betting on the future.  I challenge you to bet on your family.  Your family and the memories shared have the greatest and most significant ROI (return on investment).

Lastly, always remember to access the power of prayer with your spouse for all decisions, including financial ones, big and small.  Unify with your spouse and God to gain discernment on this topic.  Be open and honest with each other.  Keep in mind the needs and wants scale.  The ‘is it a need or a want’ barometer normally ends it abruptly, or creates honest conversation.  Trust me, applying these principles and scripture over time will allow each of you to trust your spouse more and more with financial decisions.  When you seek God’s will with your finances, He will answer.  

“If I were 22 again”

I’m not a Taylor Swift fan, or a ‘Swiftie’ as they say, but I am familiar with some of her catchy lyrics. Her song, “22” references feeling young again while adding the mixture of emotions and experiences that come along with life. As I listened to the words, I couldn’t help but take a deeper plunge and think about who I was and what I didn’t know in my younger years.  

It’s a common concept…the whole “If you could go back what would you change,” but… instead of referencing regrets or wanting change, what would we say to “what foundational truths did you learn?”

As I looked back on some core memories, several pivotal moments in life came to mind and left me with a list of lessons I hold near my heart in hindsight.

• Make yourself carve out time to be still before God. It may seem trivial or unnecessary, but learning to be silent and still before The Lord creates a sense of steadiness and patience as you actively participate in giving Him time. Say no to the distractions and spend some unhurried time simply being in the presence of God. Today’s world has temptations to keep our minds rolling, but choosing to be still before your Creator produces much more.   

• Learn to not act on emotions, or a better phrase would be ‘don’t react.’ I am married to a man that displays incredible strength in this area. When he is approached with frustrating moments or prickly people, he remains steady and says very little until he can confidently approach the matter with clarity. So often, our emotions overtake us, and we find ourselves word vomiting or bubbling with offense then coping with defense. The verse from James 1:19-20 says, “be slow to speak” and that’s exactly what we should practice. Remaining silent and seeking the Lord’s guidance will take us much further.

• As you enter marriage, trust me when I say, your spouse is not your enemy. When chaos is present the devil is at work. He works hard to turn you against one another. Ephesians 6:12 tells us, “ For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Read God’s Word intently and often, learning how to fight your battles and with whom.

• There is purpose in every trial. Every bump in the road, every mishap that wrecks your day, it all points back to perspective and purpose. Our Father is a God of detail; the author of every moment, nothing surprises Him. Take hold of this truth. Attach it to your mind and begin to ask, “what are you teaching me in this moment?” or “how can I be a light in this unexpected moment, because I trust that this is not an unexpected one for You.”

Lastly, if I could speak one message to a younger me, it would be that God is good and His timing is perfect. Through the doubt, the tears, the unmet expectations, the changes and more, He knows what He’s doing and will lead the way.

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And not only this, but [with joy] let us exult in our sufferings and rejoice in our hardships, knowing that hardship (distress, pressure, trouble) produces patient endurance; and endurance, proven character (spiritual maturity); and proven character, hope and confident assurance [of eternal salvation]. Romans 5:3-5 AMP