“Finding purposeful moments in Parenting”
“Mom, it’s my turn to have that seat!”
“Mom, she made a face at me!”
“Mom, she keeps making that noise with her fingers!”
“Mooooommm, but I wanted to go to the other store first, why does she get to pick first!”
All of their words crammed into my ears as I carried my children to and fro’ one day. I’m pretty sure there was a moment when nose diving my face into the steering wheel and closing my eyes to say ‘woosah’ was my only hope. As I listened to my tween daughters bicker over the dumbest stuff, I slowly slumped into a sea of doubt….”Was I a bad parent, did I not teach my children how to interact well, was I not effective in my approach, is this sibling bickering normal?!” The waves of ‘do better, try harder, get louder’ swept across me then broke as I pleaded, “Lord, help me with this!”
While my mind searched for any form of reason or solution, the word ‘purpose’ rolled in. Purpose. What purpose could be found in their bickering?
Then the word ‘prayer’ surfaced…what did I need to pray into my daughters as well as speak into them as they battled for personal gain…. And there it was…there was purpose in this parenting moment and new prayers to be found for teaching and guiding them.
As my ‘woosah’ moment kicked in (and their fear of my eerie silence kicked in) I regained my thoughts. We made a point to identify what was driving them to argue for their claim and what the opposite virtue would be. Understanding evolved when they realized their whining was rooted in personal gain, entitlement and expectations and the opposite traits to be considered were humility, patience and self-control. The conversation then turned to how quick we can cave into our flesh with “it’s what I want!” versus taking time to allow the Holy Spirit to steady our thoughts and offer opportunities to show Christlike behavior.
While we talked of different scenarios that give us opportunity to set aside personal preference and welcome the strength of the Spirit, a bigger perspective was revealed to me….this parenting path is jam packed with opportunities to redirect them back to Christ reminding them to draw from His strength, learn what to pray into them and not lose sight of the purpose, but taking time to see it is key. If I had caved into the mindset, ‘do better, get louder,’ I would have missed the opportunity to teach them.
If you are sinking in the waves of doubt with parenting or anything else life offers, stop to consider where God may be redirecting your thoughts and ask Him to help you see the bigger picture.
Need some encouragement along the way? Reach out to me, I’d be happy to offer perspective and remind you of your purpose!
