“When Convictions turn to Awakenings”
Do you ever have certain words or a concept that seems to linger in your mind? It may begin with a reference that catches your attention, then it becomes something you keep noticing throughout your day. Recently, a particular word kept hovering over my head, “criticizing.” As if the word wasn’t prickly enough, I noticed it was in the form of a verb, which meant someone was doing it and that someone was me.
Life simply felt challenging lately. Devastating events weren’t occurring, but the mundane was keeping me on my toes more than I liked. Our oldest daughter had stamped attitude across her forehead, my husband’s mind was consumed with those brown creatures they chase during the winter season and my job left me feeling unappreciated. My mind was filled with frustration and my heart was sprouting bitterness. It’s like I knew I was being a ‘negative Nancy,’ but couldn’t stop the cycle and kept ‘word vomiting’ my aggravation.
As I pushed against the daily grind, the word “criticizing” danced harder across my mind; “Ok, God, I hear you, but how do I stop?!” A particular verse trickled in, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit,” Psalm 51:10-12.
Wow, that was just what I needed. The new words, “clean heart” and “renew a right spirit,” set me straight with conviction. I needed the Holy Spirit to renew my thought process and renew the outlook on my surroundings. I had allowed a criticizing spirit to take root in my heart and spill out of my mouth as Matthew 15:18 says, “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart…”
When I realized how quickly The Lord offered guidance, I realized how long I had avoided including Him… We can fall in this cycle, can’t we? We keep pushing against the pressures of life and run like hamsters on a wheel only to end up seeping criticism out of our mouths as a result of emptiness and lack of perspective.
The beauty of this new conviction was God’s never-ending message of hope. Notice the words, “restore to me the joy of salvation,” and “willing spirit.” I love how God allows particular words such as “joy” and “willing” to replace “criticizing” and “negative.”
I looked forward to laying my criticism at Jesus’ feet and thanked Him for bringing awareness to me.
So often, we can be blind to our tendencies. Whether loved ones point them out, random words become noticeable, or The Holy Spirit smacks us, welcome the conviction and turn to His guidance.
My thoughts began to form this prayer, “Father, help me not focus on what others have done wrong, but instead blind my eyes to what frustrates me and give me a fresh look at them. Help me love, interact and parent intentionally for Your purpose. Help me focus on forgiveness and love when I am overwhelmed with frustrations and remember how you have forgiven and loved me. Thank you for conviction as it is rooted in hope and never-ending love.”
What word or concept is hovering over you? I challenge you to take time to allow God to show you areas that may need some conviction and growth.
