“Let’s talk about money!”
Today’s writing is from my husband, Matt. Not long ago, I asked him to write about the challenging and often ignored, topic of finances within marriage. He did a great job! Check out his perspective below!
One of the most important, yet more difficult topics in marriage is finances. For some reason, couples tend to bring either debt or financial selfishness into marriage from day one. Money is a very stressful area to navigate when you’re single, and becomes even more stressful when we add a spouse and their financial “baggage” to the scenario. Statistics show 86% of marriages start out with a considerable amount of debt. It's estimated that financial problems contribute to up to 40% of all divorces. That means for every 10 marriages that end in divorce, four of them are because of money. Another survey shows 64% of couples admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partners. With these astounding percentages, we could assume that finances aren’t typically discussed before individuals tie the knot or perhaps, they deny the magnitude of the topic. Which is probably why separate bank accounts on the rise in marriages. So, let’s dive off into a few principles that if applied, could create good conversation and hopefully, insight between you and your spouse.
Let’s start with the obvious, keep God at the center of your marriage. Seems easy, but climbing a social status ladder and focusing on your bank account can easily derail you. With all the flashy marketing, finance options, and keeping up with the Jones’ mentality, people are spending more and more on non-essential items. We can unintentionally put God in the backseat when it comes to desires, dreams, and financial gain. By keeping money in its rightful place and not allowing it to become an idol, you can focus on the bigger picture- your relationship with God and your spouse. This concept also helps develop a keen sense of stewardship and honesty for both you and your spouse. Stewardship should provide an understanding that everything we own is God’s first, and it will always be His, not yours. “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it, the world and all who live in it” Psalms 24:1
Second is gratefulness. Every person reading this is blessed beyond measure, but unfortunately, everyone here has a different measuring stick for gratefulness. Sometimes the measuring stick can become this-they live there, they drive that, etc. You know, the comparison drill. It’s an easy ploy from the enemy to rob you of your gratitude. Keeping perspective also helps you and your spouse measure your needs versus wants in your marriage. By staying rooted in gratefulness, including God in all aspects of your marriage, and being aware of the enemy’s schemes you can keep God at the center and kick the enemy to the curb. "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Third, I sincerely encourage each of you to not borrow to gain a sense of happiness or fulfill a short term want. Credit is just another fancy word for “I can’t afford this shiny thing at the moment,” when the choice boils down to a ‘want.’ Today, our society is so addicted to borrowing and betting on the future. I challenge you to bet on your family. Your family and the memories shared have the greatest and most significant ROI (return on investment).
Lastly, always remember to access the power of prayer with your spouse for all decisions, including financial ones, big and small. Unify with your spouse and God to gain discernment on this topic. Be open and honest with each other. Keep in mind the needs and wants scale. The ‘is it a need or a want’ barometer normally ends it abruptly, or creates honest conversation. Trust me, applying these principles and scripture over time will allow each of you to trust your spouse more and more with financial decisions. When you seek God’s will with your finances, He will answer.
